Writing is my Mental Health Medication
Returning to writing after a break
The question of how to start a writing career frequently appears on the Write Life Facebook group. I tend not to pay much attention to those posts because I’m ok; I have a routine, and I write daily, well, most days. Or do I?
Yesterday, I spotted another post asking for advice. This time, instead of passing it by, I asked myself what happened to my own writing ambitions. I used to be disciplined, turning up and treating writing like a job, and I got results:
- The Essential Companion to Talking Therapy, published by Watkins in 2021
- The Wellness Journal was picked up by Google and other large organisations
- Published articles in a variety of online and print magazines
- Articles here on Medium
- A second book going through the editing process
Checking my writing in hours and words shocked me, and I realised that this wonderful routine and the beginning of an actual writing career have fallen through some invisible gaps in the world of published work. The interesting thing is that my mental health has also taken a dip. Could the two be related?
Writing for mental health
I’m the kind of person who puts everyone else and everything else before my own needs, wants and ambitions. Whether that is washing, calling a struggling friend, ensuring my partner has what he needs (coffee, food or love), or checking up on the children or other family members. Only when I’m satisfied that my immediate world is as good as possible do I give myself time to do what makes me happy. Even writing those words makes me cringe. It seems so self-indulgent.
But writing does make me happy. It provides me with an outlet, sorts my thoughts into a more explicit and visible order, brings the underlying to the forefront, and allows me to go deeper than any conversation will. It’s a mirror I can hold up in front of myself, leaving me with a better understanding of the world inside and around me. Simply put, writing is my antidepressant and anti-anxiety medication.
So why did I let it slip?
I’m not sure I have accurate answers, and if I did, they’d probably differ depending on the day, place, and circumstances. On the other hand, looking at it through a therapeutic lens, could it have something to do with my upbringing? Stopping oneself from doing what makes one happy often has roots in the past.
Perhaps it has to do with being called stupid throughout my childhood, or maybe the parental neglect by an alcoholic mother, or teachers who told me I’d never do any good, or the discouragement by various people to stay away from further education because I wasn’t ‘ready’. Who knows, but each of these is worth exploring at some point.
I need my routine back, the discipline to turn up and write.
My accountability buddy
I’m lucky; I have a husband who appreciates writing, though for different reasons to me. He also believes in me. That, too, is a challenging sentence to write; I hardly dare trust that it is true. Why would anyone believe in me? That voice from the past confirms my insecurities, the worthlessness that sits ready to destroy my achievements.
Pushing that aside (I can explore that another time) and focussing on the practical, I have decided to enrol my husband as my accountability buddy. He will help me set realistic goals that I can stick to. He’ll check that everything is going according to my plan and be ready with encouragement and cups of tea.
What is my plan then?
I will be returning to the idea of treating writing like any other job. That means turning up at my desk during working hours and writing. As simple as that.
I believe we have a writing muscle that needs exercise to stay strong, just like any other muscle. Mine has become a little slack, so a writing boot camp would be useful, but in the absence of that, this is what I will be doing:
- I am writing the edits on my second book (the editor is waiting)
- Pitching articles
- Writing for my Medium blog
- Writing ideas for books and articles
- Putting thoughts and emotions into written words
And when I cannot find the words to write, I will listen to writing podcasts, read about writing, and stuff my head full of information that will stretch that writing muscle.
All that’s left now is putting this plan into action.
I have spent the morning writing this article, and after lunch, I will contact my editor and get back to working on my book.
One day at a time, a routine begins to be re-established.
