Or, Why Ben didn’t want to wear his red nose
It can be tough to be a boy, especially when you are young and just beginning to discover what it means to belong, or ‘fit in’. Ben was such a boy and his dad told me a story that made me think about our peers’ influence on our individuality, or our differences.
The story of Ben’s red nose
It was Comic Relief in the UK, also known as Red Nose Day, and Ben’s primary school had organised a fun sports event to raise money for Children in Need. Ben and his dad had been talking about the importance of this day and Ben, being 7 years…
Mental health
Should we disregard psychiatry altogether or does it have some merit?
While psychiatry has been praised for its thorough research and the consequent depth of detailed information about psychiatric conditions, it has also come under a great deal of criticism from the world of therapy, academics and within the psychiatric profession itself.
Some of the criticisms include:
There is no measure of what ’normal’ is: We may not have thought about the significance of this before, but without knowing what ‘normal’ is supposed to be, how can we measure an experience of life and label it with a diagnosis? …
Masculinity, Misogyny, and Social Change
Debating masculinity and misogyny and the link between the two is a hot topic at the moment, and in my opinion, it is about time too. However, there are those who believe that the debate simply amounts to whining and they cannot understand why these specific topics need to be discussed.
I used to think very similarly to them: why can’t we just be nice to one another and make sure we take care of ourselves, then everything will be ok? But of course, there is so much more to it than that. For one, we don’t all have the…
Or, Why Chris Wasn’t Allowed to Fall in Love
A couple of days ago a friend of mine asked to speak with me about something very personal. I didn’t know what that could be, but I figured as I am a relationship therapist, it was probably something to do with his relationship.
It would have been nice to enjoy a coffee together, but in these covid times that wasn’t an option, so Zoom came to the rescue again. After the niceties of catching up with our most recent events, he looked at me with uncertainty and told me:
“I’m confused, I don’t know what to do.”
The story about a man called Chris
Life had treated…
Therapy and psychology
With an excerpt from The Well Gardened Mind by Sue Stuart-Smith
It is well-known that spending time in nature benefits us in many ways: not only our physical health but our psychological wellbeing is positively affected too. Gardening and growing our own vegetables are enjoying a comeback, and whatever our reasons for doing this, there is no doubt that the benefits greatly outweigh any possible disadvantages.
But it isn’t just gardening or food growing that can provide a lift to our spirits. In her book The Well Gardened Mind, Sue Stuart-Smith writes about her experiences as a psychiatrist and psychotherapist…
Planning my return to Medium writing
For the past year, I have been busy writing, not for Medium but on a book project; I got a publishing deal for my book about the therapeutic experience, at the beginning of 2020 and suddenly my life wasn’t mine anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I am definitely not complaining; publishing a book has been and still is a journey worth working towards. However, this fantastic opportunity meant that I didn’t have as much time as I used to have for writing Medium articles and I have only just returned to carry on from where I left off.
While I…
Therapy and psychology
Four reasons why the interactions with your therapist makes a difference
When you look for a therapist, you might believe that a certain type of therapy is best for your symptoms or that therapy should sort you out in just a few sessions. Perhaps there is a tendency to look at the cost as a sign of a better quality of therapy or the length of therapy being an indicator of getting more for your money. In reality, it is the relationship between you and your therapist that is the biggest indicator of the success you stand to gain from your financial and emotional investment.
In my private practice, when clients…
Therapy and Psychology
A new publication for factual and entertaining articles about psychology and therapy
Have you ever wanted to read and write articles about the human condition that are based on research and the lives of trained and experienced therapists and psychologists? I have, and that is why I decided to set up The Talking Space. I am now looking for other likeminded professionals to join me in this project.
What we are looking for
The aim is to bring together a collection of articles that are accessible to anyone, that is jargon-free, and written to inform and entertain, and to support a positive perspective of the profession of therapy and psychology. …
Relationships
Should we excommunicate our demons before engaging in a relationship?
I was recently interviewed by Nick Bracks, Australian actor and podcaster at Move Your Mind. One of the many interesting conversations we had was whether we should sort our issues out before we enter a relationship.
Of course, working through our issues and increasing our self-awareness is always a positive step towards a more fulfilling and contented life. Though, as a psychosexual and relationship therapist, I find it an intriguing idea that sorting out all our issues would even be possible before we would then be able to have a relationship.
It might be a lovely prospect to think that…
Therapy
The important relationship between adults and their parents
We don’t often talk about the relationship between adults and their parents, yet this relationship is frequently the foundations of our intimate adult relationships. This connection can also be invaluable when we struggle in life or if we just need a little lift over the inevitable hurtles we might face.
Our parents usually want what is best for us, they want to see us happy. This has probably been their aim right from the moment they knew of our existence. They have known us longer than anyone else and in a different way to other people in our life. Telling…
